Each tear that came rolling yesterday night, i promise myself, to be stronger.

I know.. everything happens fer a reason.

I shouldnt question why it happen or why me.. coz.. Allah choose me to go through all this..

Coz Allah know.. i can manage.

And i will. I know i can. If Allah made this happen, i'm very sure.. Allah will help me , guide me through this obstacles.

I know .. this a test fer me. I have been close to Allah this days. . Idk why. Probably this happen coz Allah wants me to get closer to Allah. And i will. Coz i know.. thats the best way. No point crying.

Eventhough it let out the feelings. No point blaming. It wont change a bit. I cried enough yesterday. I dont have to mention how long. Pillows are drenched with tears. Sobbing in the middle of the night. Oh, how weak i am yesterday. Aqilah, you shouldnt be like this.

I will not mention what happen last night. Its  already bad enough fer me to know. So why must i share the bad news with you guys ?

I learn my mistakes.. Simple. Jelousy, control, intense worrying,sensetive.

I promise to overcome this. I realise i'm paranoid.

My life have been destinied. And i know.. no matter how hard i change my life. . it will be the same. Its just how we can really manage and go through this life. I'm not blaming anyone fer this.. Coz i know, i aint right either. And most importantly i'm nt blaming myself. What fer? How can i blame myself, and when people blame me, i couldnt take it ? Dumb rite..

I'm sorry fer troubling you. If i know this happen, i wont drag you along .. listening to all my problems. Regret ? Hm.. like you said.. you cant take it . You cant cope with the situation right now. I'm sorry. You shouldn't get involve. I should know.. . you're not strong enough to go through difficulties with me. But thanks.. fer all this while.. You kind of treated me good. Appreciate that.. eventhough you said i'm just a companion. I enjoy being with you... as a friend ? maybe..  i understand your problem...  i regret fer dragging you along.. and not regret fer knowing you. If space thatt you need. Go ahead. I wont stop you this time. Its your life. Am i right ?

I'm being honest , and sincere.. not sacarstic. Not sacarsticsm in this post.

( You know who you are )

Kak Anys,

I'm sorry fer hurting you last night. I was wrong . I admit it. I wasnt blaming you last night. I was just telling .. wondering if you know why he's like that ? Thats all. I have really no intention to disappoint, hurt , or even made you angry. You treating him like a bro now ? Hm.. I know you still have some feelings fer him. You cant change the feeling of love as a crush to love as a brother that easily. No matter how you say, it does, i'm sorry.. you're lying actually. Dont lie to yourself. I know you're saying this so that you can forget about those lovelove feelings, i understand. It takes time.. If you feel.. i was blaming you.. im terribly sorry. I apologise. It shouldnt be this way, sis. Its all about jelousy. Jelousy do kills. Its good that you have apologise to Kak Sya.. I'm sorry fer ruining your friendship. Thats all i can say. Im aint that gud aite? Hm.. i will be one..

Its all up to you. I'll be waiting to hear from you. Deep inside .. never did i want to break our sister-ship.  Once again, i'm sorry.

Kak Sya,

I'm sorry fer what i did.. I'm sorry because of me.. you get scolded with kak anys. I'm sorry.

                                                                                              

That will be enough of apologising.

Now .. its all up to me to decide .. to change fer the better.

I will..

Thanks fer everything.

Please do takecaire.

Love, aqilah.

Don't wait until it's too late to tell someone how much you love, how much you care. Because when they're gone, no matter how loud you shout and cry, they won't hear you anymore.

 

Love isn't a decision, it's a feeling. If we could decide who to love, then, life would be much simpler, but then less magical.

 

24hrs make a lovely day,

7 days make a lovely week,

52 weeks make a lovely year & knowing a

person like me will make ur life lovely.

 

Love mean to see someone with closed eyes,

to miss someone in crowd,

to find someone in every thought,

and know that who you cant luve without.

 

I dream about you evey night

I shiver when your in sight

I long to hold you close n tight

I wanna be there with all my might
I m just hoping I'm the girl whos right

If i reached for your hand , will u hold it ?

If i hold out my arms, will u hug me ?

If i go for your lips, will u kiss me ?

If i capture ur heart , will u love me ??

Glitter Graphics



Glitter Graphics




Glitter Graphics

Saaap.

Phew..

Everything is okaee now.

No more fytes.

Kaq Anys apologise.

Hm..actually isn't her fault, not mine either. Its just.. hm.. too  hard to explain.

Sleepat arnd 1115 yesterday.

I woke up.. feeling very sad..wondering why..?

weird, huh ?

eyh. peeps.

I'm thinking of posting a story at the news..

ur know. berita harian.. every friday.. got the story.. cerpen thinghy.. yeaa..i wanna sent minee..

i gt a good idea.

Heehee.

:)

Aqilah Outt.Takecaire.

Saaap..

Just now was kind of tiring.. Came back at around 1+ .. was having YOG .. Then.. accompany Sab go buy some weird stuff..

Heehee.

But i loike it . :D

Mandai Hill Camp. Byk Mats..

urgh ! Yuckies.

Kay wadeva.

Came back. Wash up and stuff.

Ibu cook Wantan Me.

Afad.. added me againn in FB.

Sent me an apology message..

Accpted his fren's request...

buddenn.. didnt actually want to talk to him.

Malas liou.

Now.. kaq anys is in bad mood.  and yea..i'm kind of hurt with what she said.. entah.. sobs *

kay.. takmo sad ah aqilah..

sesak jiwee kau jer..

* smile aqilah *

hmm..

its only been a nite, not talking to Aiz..but i oreadi.. feeling the lost..

damn..

i wonder.. if he realy leave.. how can i survive?

Urgh !

Lepas satu , satu ah..

Well..

like liyana says, i'm strong..

well.. i will be.. i know i am... and i know i can face this..this is not as bad as what i've been thru before..

well.. looking at the bright side.. I know i can make this thru.. GO aqilah !

Wish me luck peeps ,sayangs.. hu ever taht is reading.. I need supports noww..

Takecaire loves.

Aqilah Outt.

The clock shows..

08.30 now.

So ?

lol.

Someone is BUSY.

):

Text Kak Sha. Budden suddenly.. no reply. Wonder why.

And org tu pun no comments.

Asl eh ?

Supposely to call me back kan?

Waiting tauu.

Hm.. Chatted wit Kak Anys.

Nuthing muchh..

Heehee.

Tmrw. YOG. Sab text asking me to accompany her go the shop next to 7-11 after skul..

Set.

Meeting iNa tomoro. I on.

:D Lama tak jumper tu pompuan. Heehees.
Ape khabar engkau di sana?

aku di sini sihat belaka ?

Hahaa..Gtg..

Aqilah OUTT.

Takecaire.

                                                





                              








                                        








                                     
      

Fer Aiz.

Not others to read. (eventhough i post it  here..  ignore this)

Did you had a nice sleep yesterday?

I dont.

Slept at 12+am.

When your last msg was at 10+ .

You think i sleep rdy when you sent me tat last text ?

Hell no.

How do you expect me to sleep when seriously you had hurt my feelings?

I'm sensetive, you know. You know it, why didnt you really mind your words.

You mind your words, but tats not ENOUGH mind-ing.

Kay wadeva.

Why you keep on comparing you and him?

I just dont get it.

Did i ever compare me with her* ?

I dont care about the question part.. i care about the comparing part ?

Dont question why i layan you like tat, i layan him like tat. 

Its just like why you layan me like tat , why you layan her* like that.

And if you say it was a joke. trust me, i dont think so.

Yes I admit.. you never SCOLD and NEGLECT  me before.

But seriously.. it somehow . Hurts.

You must say its because i'm too sensetive and stuff ryte ?

Its not. How would you feel.. when you decided to call someone.. and you had inform tat someone..you will call.. and then ..because of some reasons .. you cant call.. and that someone says, " Do wan call .. i no lost..."

In malay its .." taknak call.. tak rugi.."

its like as if.. you dont actually want ME to call. Tak suker?

Yes. I dont talk alot when otp with you. Coz.. I hardly otp with you.

I do talk wit E2, because.. i almost otp wit him.. everyday, i mean, i everynight.

I'm used to texting you.. and not call you.

I'm used to calling him..and not texting you.

Gottit ?

You said talking to me like no shiok?

Then YOU go make the conversation SHIOK.

In my opinion, calling its just not about TALKING TALKING TALKING plainly..

its like about.. when.. we joke around.. making it funny.. and not so formal or seriously..

.You're making it sound so serious.. thats why i do.. the " lalala ..blablabla.. thingy.. "

Gottit.

You know something ?

You said.. i owaes wanted( by saying) to get out of yourlife..

Yes , i did say tat.

But did you question WHY ?

Did you ? NO.

Now i tell you why?

I dont feel like i'm important to you. Nowdays..the way you layan me is different.

Yes.. i'm sure you're gonna say.. because i'm owaes in the bad mood.. tats why you cant layan me goodly..

am i rite?

you sure to put the so call.." blame" to me

Sekarang kan.. if i'm bad mood..sulking.. you just seem to be like avoiding me like tat..

you might not realise it..

.. SOMETIMES WORDS SPEAK LOUDER THAN ACTIONS.

Now, you want me to say, "LEAVE ME , AIZ "

And wht did i replied to you..go check back .. wht i said..

did i scold you. or.. avoid it..

WHAT DID I REPLY ?!

" I said..you're important to me.."

And when the time.. i said " i should get out of your life.."

WHAT DID YOU REPLY ?

You eventually symphatise yourself.. and said.. " WHY DONT YOU JUST SAY YOU WANT ME OUT OF YOUR LIFE. I 'M PROBLEMATIC"

Go look at how you reply when i said,"  isnt it easy if you say i want you out of my life.."

and look at how i reply when You said " " WHY DONT YOU JUST SAY YOU WANT ME OUT OF YOUR LIFE. I 'M PROBLEMATIC"

Different, huh ?

Go read back those texts. I keep them you know.

You pun tahu kan.. kite gadoh gadoh.. actually deep inside.. i still want you in my life kan.

THAT IS WAHT I USUAlLY SAID.

And did you even said those words to me. NO !

You just then start blaming me.. then blaming you fer not being gud enuf and stuff like taht.  . and thats when i feel guilty fer being angry wit you.

Its really hurting you know to fight with you. Seriously. I really hate to fight with people i love. Look at my blog ," about me section"

go read.. is your name there..?

those mention in "about me" is my love ones..

Can you just see.. that you'e important to me?

but Aiz, i didnt feel like you think i'm important to you... seriously..

and thats what hurts me .  .

EVERYTIME WE FIGHT.

thats all.
NurAqilah.

Yaw darls.

Yesterday night was freeakking..

BAD .

Damn it. Urgh. Its just to horrible to be remembered. Yesterday night shouldnt have exist.

Why its bad?

Simple.

Fight AGAIN wit Aiz.

Damn.

Fight or shall i say.. misunderstanding..?

Suits yourself.

All i know, i totally hate it. And he hate it too. Am i ryte, Mister?

Forget it. And fer you Aiz, there will be one LONG post fer you to read. And to other readers just ignore on waht will be post rite after this post.

Eventhough it was bad .. and trust me..  i've might just slash myself again.. ( not.) .. someone just made me forget about it fer a moment. Someone made me feel calm.

And his voice was the next thing I ONLY  wanna hear. He was funny though. And yea.. eventhough its funneyh.. i didnt laugh.. it just put a smile on my face, so AIZ, cant you see waht a big impact it have on me.. I CANT EVEN LAUGH WHEN TAT E2 MADE A JOKE ? WOW. AMAZING.

And i know that E2 heard my voice was different.. Haish.
E2 wasntt the ferst name tat came up to my mind.

1st was my ex TTM, budden i realise we're over. I'm really sure he wont entertain me.

Next up. Kak Anys. Wanted to call her..  budden realise .. he prepaid was low.
Then.. last.. i decided to call E2.

And there he was.. .. picking up the phone.. and he got to go.. and then..he call .

Kak Anys. Sorrie if i mention about him.

Coz he was the one who made me smile when i was really crying.

I tell you later in personally .

:)

Thats all readers.

I'm tired. Takecaire darls.

Aqilah Sayang you all.

(To Aiz, i'm not done. )

Heeyaw Readers.

Havent eat my lunch. No reasons why.

Kak Anys text.    But too bad her prepaid was low :(

Sobs*  Text me when you have top-up aites.

Loveher.

Chatting wit Qinqin. Woi gurl !

Nicceee song Beb.

Geez. Aiz is online .. but not talking to me.

Wondering why ?

.... sigh...

Dreamt something weird yesterday. About my lovely grandmum. Hey, I love her truckloads arites.

I dreamt i kill her.. :( * GAPS*

I swear it will never happen in real lyfe man.

HELL NO !

She's too nice to be kill. Who on this planet wanna kill her.. ? Crazy.

Next up. Dreamt of E2.

GOSH. Niceeee awesomeee. sweeett.. dream.

iperfectlyloveit.

Cant expose here ..

AIZ TALK. YAY !!!

Gtg.

Loveyou sayangs .

Aqilah sayang semuerrnya.

Aqilah OUtt.

Morning Earthlings :)

Fasting was okay yesterday :)

3 more days.

Baeeekk.

Texted Kaq Anys & Aiz.

Best perh talk wit Kak Anys..

Talk about Kiamat la.. and all those you know..  afterworld thingy.. things tat go beyond our thinking.

Otp wit tat AIZ. Talk half way.. your daddy call eh ?

=.=ll

Didnt call back. Podah !

Continue with the texts.

Deep inside was missing tat E2 .

Keep calling.. but it was off.. I was playing my lappy last night.. ended at 9.38 .

Chck hp. 1 miss call.. from.. E______. I was likee.. Damn. 10 mins lateee.. Theen yea.. i tried calling back. Its off. AGAIN ?!

Then..text him, " call back"

Then.. so long.. no call.. then i call.. half way ringing, " user busy "

I was like.. =.= and guess waht.. he was actually trying to call me.. hahaha.. coincidence sia.

Yea. Then otp wit him fer a while.. relive upon hearing his voice. Miss  tat voice lah . Nabil interrupted. Thanks. I said , " NABIL " and E2 heard, " HUH? My bill..?"

i was laughing like hell.

K, stoppit.

Not in good terms wit Aiz. Indirectly not in good terms. I dont think he realise it. Ohwell. Maybe i was the one being sensetive. =.=
Apeape jerr uh.
Too lazy to think about it.

Take caire

Aqilah outt.

 

i want you, now.

I was viewing this guy profile.. name.. Wan Ridzwan. Gosh. If only someone could write like how he write on his wall. Eventhough i dont even know him.. i can really tell he's reaally loyal andand sweet.

I never knew someone like him before.. Tat gurl tat he love must be the luckiest gurl to have him. Imaginee.. 2/3 of pagewall is all about this particular gurl...

Seriously..

Nowdays, gurls are the one usually will type like dat.. but now.. i realise i was wrong.
Hahaa..

Thats all.
Aqilah OUtt.

Letting it go.. or continue-ing something tat you know it wont work out.

Which one .. hurts more ?

Well..

Love.

Love like a teenage. Why must think to an extend... ?

I just dont get it.

You know whats the best thing about being single ?

Its when you can just minggle around.. not sticking to anyone. You're free to talk , hangout, chill or anything with anyone. Hu cares? I found it kind of stupid when someone(single).. sticking to the same person.. and think  themselves as being.. loyal. .? tats funny. Who are you:? Unless you are his/her gurlfren..ofcoz.. you have to be loyal rite.. but now.. you're single.. so be like one.. act like one.. enjoy now. Unless.. the one youre sticking to likes you too..  then.. yea.. its a different story..

you're regret it when you're to attach with someone now.. and it end up to NOTHING. . and you know... you have waste your time being loyal to tat "someone" when you gained nothing..

Or probably.. just the patience.

Well. . it might shows taht i'm kind of you know.. bad.? idk the appropriate word.. but just think . Why hoping so much fer the one that you know. . doesnt love you?  Still wanting ? while you know.. someone want or deserve your love. Its better to be love than to love. Go fer the one that loves you. . be realistic.  Accept the fact that the one you "love" doesnt love you. Get over it. Move on. 

Another thing.

I totally hate it when someone.. give an excuse of

 " I'm NOT good ENOUGH fer you. " to not accept someone. How you know you're arent good enough.. when you dont give YOURSELF a chance to love.

In anything you do.. just dont hope fer so much.. especially you gt the feeling tat it wont work. Dont plan to hurt yourself.

:)

Aqilah outt.

Takecaire,darls.

Bored.

Tried calling him.. yet.. no ans.. off..

:( kind of sad.. hm..

Nevermind. c'mon think positive !

text liyana.. Haha.. potong fringe ke perhh..?

haha.. aiz is online.. yet taknak bobal.. busy .. ? maybe..

lalala..

watch satu famili just noow..

they drink tat celery juice.. and i was sitting infront of the tv screen feeling disgust..

like wanna vomit. . ewww.. gross.. sanggup shey dorang..

hahaa.. hm.. now chatting wit tis KRSS guy.. haha..

yea.. wadeva..

didnt layan him sgt..

malas deh..

:)  hahaa..

hm.. kaylah.. nuthin much..

Aqilah Outt.

Blogthings.com

Calm and understated.  

You struggle to express your love with words.

Over time..your partner learns to recognize your pasion by actions you take.

You're good at woo-ing someone slowly, without you even realizing.

Number of times heatbroken : 2

Most compatible with those who're born : 7th, 25th,16th

:)

Did You Know..

Kissing is healthy.

Bananas are good for cramps.

Guys do insult you if they like you.

Having someone rub your tummy when it hurts, actually helps.

89% of guys want girls to make the first move.

Girls love it when guys hug them from behind .

Chocolates makes you feels better.

Girls love it when guys let them wear their hoodie/jacket.

A true friend will never judge.

There is only 1 guy that worth your tears.

If you have dream about someone, the person might have think of you before they sleep.

Everyone like suprises.

Helloo werld.

bahs~

Currently viewing unknown people's fb wall..
Kepoh lah dierr.. haaaha.

:D

Text Kaq Anys just now..

slept at 1.20+ yesterday.

Text Aiz and kaq anys punyer pasal..

Haahaa. Best perhh..

Talk rubbish wit Aiz.. Saper eh start dulu..?

nt gonna expose it here.. haha.

Kak Anys was.. okay lah.. haha.. macD..

the funneyh part is..

" spaghetti ? nanti transfer ah pakai bluetooth ke email ke ."

i was like laughing .. hahaa..

i dah post to spaghetti tau, you dapat tak ?

heheehee. :D

Yesterday.. was really crazy.. my temper went out of control.. seriously.. didnt slash myself.. eventhough it did came into my mind..  Just suddenly i remembered the past. Gosh. So long rdy.. still.. i havent recover TOTALLY. Haish.

kay stoppit.

It was horrible at ferst.. then.. it turn out okay.. btol tak..?

heehees.

Woke up at 8.40... 3 msgs.. eh  no.. 4.. kak sya text me at rnd 7.22.. siang seyh.. hehee.suprise suprise.. then.. yea.. she went off.. D: eat spaghetti fer breakfast.. finger licking gud ah seii.

So.. just now.. went mosque.. Uztad Firdhaus,teach...gosh idk how to spell the uztad.. hahaa.. it was fun manx.. wasnt sleepy at all when he talk.. it was very interesting.. you people shud hear.. then half way.. ada jenazah masuk masjid.. then.. someone ask uztad to imam-kan the jenazah. .so yea.. we gt to wait around 10 mins ..like tat..  btw.. Hadi's mother was there too.. gosh.. HADI ! long tyme never see him.. 2 yrs.. probably.. since the grad ah.. :(  i miss those time. Patrick !

Then.. go nenek house.. boring.. cik ali was sleeping.. as usual..

then yea.. bukak fridge.. MILO ! Yay ! Then go home.. chck hp.. 2 msgs.. 1 miss call..

reply those msgs.. bt nt the call.. dunknw whether shud call back or no  need.. hm.. i dun entertain 1 miss call..give me 2 miss calls then , i call back.. i have a gud reason why. Thank you.

:) bored nari.. hheee.. dad out.. orang kahwin .taksalah.. kay wadeva.. sungguh random .. Counting those days to school re-open.. homewerk blm strt. wadeva.. wadeva luu.. haha..

Kay..dah panjang dah ni..

nanti you all boring lah pulak..

Takecaire.

Aqilah outt.