Each tear that came rolling yesterday night, i promise myself, to be stronger.

I know.. everything happens fer a reason.

I shouldnt question why it happen or why me.. coz.. Allah choose me to go through all this..

Coz Allah know.. i can manage.

And i will. I know i can. If Allah made this happen, i'm very sure.. Allah will help me , guide me through this obstacles.

I know .. this a test fer me. I have been close to Allah this days. . Idk why. Probably this happen coz Allah wants me to get closer to Allah. And i will. Coz i know.. thats the best way. No point crying.

Eventhough it let out the feelings. No point blaming. It wont change a bit. I cried enough yesterday. I dont have to mention how long. Pillows are drenched with tears. Sobbing in the middle of the night. Oh, how weak i am yesterday. Aqilah, you shouldnt be like this.

I will not mention what happen last night. Its  already bad enough fer me to know. So why must i share the bad news with you guys ?

I learn my mistakes.. Simple. Jelousy, control, intense worrying,sensetive.

I promise to overcome this. I realise i'm paranoid.

My life have been destinied. And i know.. no matter how hard i change my life. . it will be the same. Its just how we can really manage and go through this life. I'm not blaming anyone fer this.. Coz i know, i aint right either. And most importantly i'm nt blaming myself. What fer? How can i blame myself, and when people blame me, i couldnt take it ? Dumb rite..

I'm sorry fer troubling you. If i know this happen, i wont drag you along .. listening to all my problems. Regret ? Hm.. like you said.. you cant take it . You cant cope with the situation right now. I'm sorry. You shouldn't get involve. I should know.. . you're not strong enough to go through difficulties with me. But thanks.. fer all this while.. You kind of treated me good. Appreciate that.. eventhough you said i'm just a companion. I enjoy being with you... as a friend ? maybe..  i understand your problem...  i regret fer dragging you along.. and not regret fer knowing you. If space thatt you need. Go ahead. I wont stop you this time. Its your life. Am i right ?

I'm being honest , and sincere.. not sacarstic. Not sacarsticsm in this post.

( You know who you are )

Kak Anys,

I'm sorry fer hurting you last night. I was wrong . I admit it. I wasnt blaming you last night. I was just telling .. wondering if you know why he's like that ? Thats all. I have really no intention to disappoint, hurt , or even made you angry. You treating him like a bro now ? Hm.. I know you still have some feelings fer him. You cant change the feeling of love as a crush to love as a brother that easily. No matter how you say, it does, i'm sorry.. you're lying actually. Dont lie to yourself. I know you're saying this so that you can forget about those lovelove feelings, i understand. It takes time.. If you feel.. i was blaming you.. im terribly sorry. I apologise. It shouldnt be this way, sis. Its all about jelousy. Jelousy do kills. Its good that you have apologise to Kak Sya.. I'm sorry fer ruining your friendship. Thats all i can say. Im aint that gud aite? Hm.. i will be one..

Its all up to you. I'll be waiting to hear from you. Deep inside .. never did i want to break our sister-ship.  Once again, i'm sorry.

Kak Sya,

I'm sorry fer what i did.. I'm sorry because of me.. you get scolded with kak anys. I'm sorry.

                                                                                              

That will be enough of apologising.

Now .. its all up to me to decide .. to change fer the better.

I will..

Thanks fer everything.

Please do takecaire.

Love, aqilah.